Poo Strikes Again

My boss, the pointy haired/guy from the office combo (I’m going to call him Pointy Office Official or poo) is one of those people who needs to prove how hip and cool he still is (and by definition someone who wants to do that is not hip or cool). One of the ways he attempts to convey this is by playing a radio in his office. He chooses top 40 music. All he proves is his poseur status. His favorite band is His favorite band, however, is a band (to remain nameless to protect their fragile reputation) who was a minor pseudo indie band who had one hit in the early 90’s (on a major label). Apparently they continue to pump out albums. Who knew? Once at one our torturous staff lunches™ (where we’re required to go out as a group, we have to pay for it ourselves and the conversation so pained that sticking a fork in your eye just to have something to talk about seems appealing), he put the whole staff on the spot.

Poo: So I’m I have an extra ticket to see Pseudo Indie band. I got two tickets and it seems no one else wants to go with me. Which of you would like to go?
Staff: { staring down, moving food around on their plates, a minute at least passes }
Girl with Attitude: They are still around? Who knew?
Me: { oh no }
Poo: Oh, yes, they have about 12,000 albums now, they go on tour every year. Of course they took a break between album 5 and 6 when the singer quit. But then they got another guy who can sing just like him and they’ve been back hard since.

He continued in this direction for a few minutes, but I stopped listening and stared out the window. Oh look there is friggin’ Hummer. Gas guzzler!

When he finally stops talking, no one says anything. Finally, the older cranky uber geek starts talking about a server upgrade. Thank God! Who ever thought talking about a server upgrade would be cause for so much joy.

Soon after this, on the Friday before I was leaving on vacation, he appeared in my office with a burned copy of one of his favorite bands cd’s. He hands it to me and I stare at it.
Poo: I thought you might want to check it out while you are on vacation.

My mouth agape, I take it from him. Just what I want to do on my vacation. Listen to some crappy, washed up band so I can discuss it with him when I return. Why is he doing this to me? But I throw it in my bag, and then completely forget about it.

Maybe two months later, my boss spies me laughing with someone in the mail room. The site of him the room is enough to wipe the smiles off everyone’s face. Minutes later he appears in my office to ensure I’ve returned from my enjoyable conversation with someone who is not him. As he has no real reason to be in my office, he uses the cd as his excuse. It takes me a few seconds to realize what he is talking about. I dig around in my bag and sure enough, it’s still there. I hand it to him.
Poo: { with an eagerness that is almost frightening } so what did you think?
Me: { after a brief thought about lying and saying it was good, decide not to go that route. I refuse to encourage this behavior } to tell the truth, I haven’t had time to listen to it
Poo: well how are we going to discuss what you thought about it?
Me: I guess we won’t be able to
Poo: hmm.. well I guess I could make you come in my car and we could drive around listening to it.
Me: { mouth hanging open }
Poo: but then again my car doesn’t have a cd player, so I guess that wouldn’t work out.
Me: { OMG! } I guess not
Poo: ok, carry on.